Principles for Conscious Connection
Principles are fundamental beliefs that can serve as a foundation for a practice. Principles are based on values, and values are the result of a creative act of meaning making. We cannot derive an ought from an is, that is to say, we cannot derive how we should act from true facts about the world. The best we can do is make our values explicit, and create a community of people who share those values. In this way, our values can become the foundation for principles that can guide illuminated action.
Our own deep-felt desire for presence is valid.
To connect with others who also want to awaken to presence is beautiful and of great value.
There exists a layer of being that goes beyond the stories we tell ourselves about ourselves. In a circle of conscious connection we can learn to access that layer, and support others in accessing it.
If others prefer to remain asleep, that desire is valid. It can be harmful to wake people up who still need to rest.
People who consider it their task to wake other people up may not yet have recognized that the process of awakening is personal.
It can be empowering to speak from our felt sense. Expressing ourselves from our felt sense is letting our whole body guide our expression, speaking up without having rehearsed our words, trusting the flow of natural expression in the moment.
Not every connection is beneficial. We have the right to choose our friends and our teachers. The privilege of being an adult is to have choices that children have not, and to act as an adult is to exercise the freedom of choice that adults have. Choosing wisely matters a lot.
Conscious connection is always for the benefit of ourselves, and the benefit to those around us is always indirect. By becoming more free ourselves we become more powerful generators of light, and our wish to change others or interfere in their lives will likely become less and less.
Relational skills can be learned through practice. The ultimate relation skill is to be present in connection, and to remain present when our buttons are pushed.
There is a difference between reacting and responding to challenges that life presents to us. A reaction is the unconscious playing out of an old pattern. A response is a conscious answer from presence.
With practice we can learn to recognize when we are in a triggered state. Action from trigger is reaction. Having recognized our triggered state we can choose not to (re)act from it.
Triggered states are immensely useful, for they get us in touch with our childhood trauma. Triggered states offer us opportunities for healing ourselves. The key is not to chase them from our awareness but to deeply listen to the messages they convey.
There is no substitute for the individual cultivation of sound judgement. There is great value in trying to see things as they are and in doing things as we judge they ought to be done.
Awareness of the difference between knowledge and ignorance is crucial for our development. It is better to admit that we do not know than to make up stories to paper over our ignorance. We should always value what is true. We can all learn to be guided by our inner light.
Useful agreements for sessions of conscious connection:
We agree we are taking part of our own free will.
We come from a place of self love. We agree to honour ourselves, and not to act in any way that compromises our integrity.
We bring a warm, supportive attitude towards all other participants. We intend to act in the best interest of all others, as perceived by them.
We are all in charge of how deep we are willing (or able) to dive in this session. Our boundaries are always valid.
Whatever transpires during the session will remain confidential.
We agree not to leave the session before its agreed end time, unless our own well being is at stake.